i walked into health and screamed and the teacher goes “you’re the 7th person today. they’re cpr dummies.”
they’re calling to mother for food
F E E D
"You can believe me"
It’s like when Windows does this, but in real life.
This man was our president for EIGHT YEARS. We are never gonna live this down
most private thing im willing to admit: im not good at estimating how much pasta is enough for one person
there’s a tool for that
I’m sorry, does that scale progress from a child to a HORSE?
for when you’re so hungry you could eat a horse
Homosexuality is unnatural! It says so in this book where snakes talk, people come back from the dead, a guy walks on water, and a virgin has a baby.